Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Empty in Existence
And so here, I go again.
Blank stares at the grid smothered in colour,
Red for meetings, green for outings, blue for work, and black for other
My calendar? Full.
But my appetite for life yearns for a different course.
And so, here I am.
Putting more on my plate,
Working to slake
My hunger for more.
This will keep me occupied,
But still, not satisfied.
And so I catch myself constantly,
On a quest for fresh avenues to venture into;
Searching for new passions to take up.
Something, to fill me up - for the moment,
but not to fulfill
because in a minute, my craving sneaks up on me again.
And so I question, is this really all that life has to offer?
Held captive for 15,600 hours in a desk,
In the midst of stress,
Only to be employed in a field,
High in salary, yet low in happiness.
And why? I ask, why?
Because “Success brings about happiness!” they’d contend.
Or at least they’d make it out to seem like it.
But the sole glitch is that the cycle of success knows no end.
We finally attain a level, and then what?
We aim higher. Our natural desire.
It’s like climbing up a never-ending rope
Until we one day choose… to just let go.
Come on people!
When will we learn to stop mimicking the past in terror
That the future won’t go smooth sailing.
and learn to paint our own canvases.
Maybe then we’ll stop tripping into the crevasses of
Society’s timeless error.
Because if they were leading the right path
Why is it that billionaires are taking their own lives
While Africa is dancing; grateful to merely be alive.
We’ve got it backwards.
Only left to wonder what wonders I could do
If I broke out of these walls and lived.
Because the purpose of life is not to simply exist
BUT to live.
Yet, I’m still here
Choosing to live every day like the one before,
Because I can’t coerce myself
To practice what I’m preaching.
Here, I remain.
Burning myself out, till I’ve no will to go on.
Each day, I spend doing my best,
still searching for success.
Hopeful that one day, I too, will be simply, satisfied.
Lessons learned, but not applied.
And it’s that, just that, which disappoints me most.