all deez baby hairz

 

Tough job working behind the scenes, but I've always been blessed. Happy Birthday to the Lord and Saviour of my life. I am forever grateful!

Bittersweet feeling not having new clothes to wear for Christmas and New Year's. This will be worth it.

loves.

photodumping 12/15-12/20

INFP

I have changed.

INFP PERSONALITY

INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type - but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

Being a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue - INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.

J. R. R. Tolkien

WE KNOW WHAT WE ARE, BUT KNOW NOT WHAT WE MAY BE

At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.

INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.

INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either - as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.

LISTEN TO MANY PEOPLE, BUT TALK TO FEW

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause - spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.

Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty wherever they go.

My laptop charger is broken.

So I forced myself to type this out via iPad.

Hey world, I turned 19 yesterday. Here are some thoughts.

Birthdays can mean a number of things to different people. For some, it's an opportunity for fellowship and an excuse to create unforgettable (or to be more accurate, highly forgettable) memories haha! For others, it's just like every other day.
For me, birthdays have always been the checkpoint mark to revisit myself. I always visualize it by zooming out on my life over the past year and seeing it in an aerial perspective, comparing where 18 year old Camille was on December 14, 2013, up to this very point.

Funny how I leave each year feeling like life is a big room that I have completely explored and studied to its fullest extent, but then The Father throws a curve ball at me and shows me that I really know nothing at all. And then the succeeding year, he'll take that room that I have memorized and open five more doors for me to explore. 

This past year, He has granted me the most freedom by far and has allowed me to explore a new land - a battlefield where I must continually choose to have faith and place my life in His hands. In these new lands, I have sacrificed a lot and found treasure by choosing to let go. Here, I am a seed planted in an environment where I can grow and thrive by overcoming each challenge I face. Here, I am free to fail knowing that my worth is invaluable and that I only fail when I choose to do so. Here, I am also a sower of seeds - called to love more than I have ever loved before. Called to share the passion. Called to share the peace. And called to do so amidst any kind of resistance against spreading the good news. Here, I continue to grow as a person. I continue to explore the potential of the world that surrounds me and the infinite potential in myself. Here, I have hope. Here, I am free. Here, I am.

Thank you Lord, for another wonderful year of life. And a year of a straight up 90 degree angle learning curve too. I once spoke a lot about times when the empire that I had built for myself collapsed. I once cried nightly for the ruins that surrounded me and the pieces that I couldn't bear to pick up. I couldn't bear to restart. I stayed in those ruins for a while. And I'm glad I did. 

John Maxwell teaches that failure is a friend. When we fail, contrary to popular belief, try not to flee the scene of the crime as soon as you can. Try not to pretend you were never there by running away in shame. Stay there for a bit and look around. Sit amidst the brokenness and try to see what it's trying to teach you. 

In the destruction of my empire, I discovered the reason it collapsed. The entire thing was built on the wrong foundation. It was a house built on sand. My empire was based on what others thought of me. It was based on status - on the amazing things my parents could tell their friends about me, on the number of friendships I had, on the outward performance of my talents, on my grades, on the love and care others gave to me, on being a perfect child/daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend/student/person. My foundation, despite desiring an amazing life, was selfishness wearing a mask. It's great to dream about living a great life, but please avoid my mistake and seek that life by the proper means to attain it. Live for a life of giving rather than receiving.

Today, I choose not to rebuild my own empire. I choose to build up my Father's. 

It is freeing to no longer care about whether or not I am up to par with the world's standards - even if that means not adhering to my parents' utmost desires for me or my friends' expectations of me. I love you a lot, but above all else, I am God's child. I will do what is pleasing to Him. If it means blocking out all other voices so that His voice is made loud and clear, then let all other voices be blocked out. I know how inherently valuable I am without any other worldly expectations to validate me. 

I am beautiful. 

I am loved. 

I am free. 

I'm 19 now apparently. 

Here's to another year!!!!!

Another day, another destiny! 

 

Yeah, I have the best brother ever.

This blog is basically the dumping ground for all of my excess phone photos.
Hooray for photojournals?! :)

Christmas Wish List

- blank canvases and a paint set
- Starbucks, TH and food court gift cards
- I think that's it

There's a peace I've come to know 
Though my heart and flesh may fail 
There's an anchor for my soul 
I can say "It is well" 

In a constant state of wonder and awe.

Friends and foes for the rest of the night! 

O Me! O Life!

BY WALT WHITMAN

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,

Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,

Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)

Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,

Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,

Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

                                       Answer.

That you are here—that life exists and identity,

That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

Most recent mobile device photos!

A concrete remedy to the searchings of the soul and all I want to do is share it with others. The joy is in giving freely.

Check out this [link]
Are you dreams pushing you forward?

In awe of what today held and what tomorrow will bring!

"When you’re on land, when you’re on what you’re used to, it’s safe. But when you go with Christ to the place that you’re meant to be, it’s dangerous. Christ is not waiting on the shore- He is in the boat with you as He guides you through the storm. You will make it through the storm. Through the midst of pain, through the anguish, through the oppression, through the heartbreak to that country, to that land that is infinitely endless. He is there in the storm. He is there in the calm. He is always there."

I often dream of hopping onto a random bus (or multiple) in another city/country.
The time will come soon!
Today was great. Thank you Lord!

"Anyway"

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest pride.

Think big anyway.

People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for some underdogs anyway.

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you've got anyway!

-Readers Digest, December 1982

To the blessings!

If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself... then truth will not be withheld from you." Or so I've come to believe.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

I didn't choose the black box first this time and here was my result:

Name:	Camille
Date:	Tuesday 28th Oct, 2014 04:22
Colorgenics Number:	0/6/2/1/4/5/7/3/

You are seeking protection against anything which might seem to be exhausting you or tiring you out. It would appear that you are seeking a life of security and physical ease, free from any problem or disturbance.

You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

You honestly believe that your hopes and ideas are realistic, but there seems to be no one around to give you the necessary reassurance and encouragement. You are egocentric. You believe that you are always 'right' - well maybe you are but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

The unwanted situation in which you presently find yourself is causing you considerable stress and frustration and your feeling is that whatever you try to do to remedy this is to no avail. You feel trapped. You want to get away from it all as you feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall getting nowhere. You have turned your aggression inwards and you are furious with yourself for not being able to achieve your goals. You need to go away, somewhere where there are less restrictions and where you can be free to make your own decisions.

You feel worn out - you have no energy and your depleted vitality has created intolerance for any further stimulation. You feel inadequate and this subjects you to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which you try to escape by refusing further direct participation. You have become very wary and cautious but you have an inner strength. You have that determination to get your own way and succeed in the end.

Late night dates, building dreams with the Lord are all I need.

Webster defines a blessing as "a prayer or solemn wish imploring happiness upon another;... that which promotes prosperity and welfare." In other words, to bless means to speak good rather than evil, to encourage rather than discourage, to project success rather than failure, to instil faith rather than doubt, to encourage boldness rather than fear, to impart hope rather than distress and to share love rater than neglect.

Here's to the people who get it.
(I like to read this while I crawl in a whirlpool of used tissues and midterm study notes)

tbt to my tumblr days, when I was afraid the broken system had no way out.