An online journal created to seek meaning and purpose, to feel,

to dream, to discover, to spread joy and light, to love all of creation,

to glorify and magnify the Creator.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

all deez baby hairz

Friday, December 26, 2014

Tough job working behind the scenes, but I've always been blessed. Happy Birthday to the Lord and Saviour of my life. I am forever grateful!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Bittersweet feeling not having new clothes to wear for Christmas and New Year's. This will be worth it.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Thursday, December 18, 2014


I have changed.


INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type - but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.
Being a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality and virtue - INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.

J. R. R. Tolkien


At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.
INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.
INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either - as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.


Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause - spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.
If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.
Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness and beauty wherever they go.

Monday, December 15, 2014

My laptop charger is broken.

So I forced myself to type this out via iPad.
Hey world, I turned 19 yesterday. Here are some thoughts.

Birthdays can mean a number of things to different people. For some, it's an opportunity for fellowship and an excuse to create unforgettable (or to be more accurate, highly forgettable) memories haha! For others, it's just like every other day.
For me, birthdays have always been the checkpoint mark to revisit myself. I always visualize it by zooming out on my life over the past year and seeing it in an aerial perspective, comparing where 18 year old Camille was on December 14, 2013, up to this very point.
Funny how I leave each year feeling like life is a big room that I have completely explored and studied to its fullest extent, but then The Father throws a curve ball at me and shows me that I really know nothing at all. And then the succeeding year, he'll take that room that I have memorized and open five more doors for me to explore. 
This past year, He has granted me the most freedom by far and has allowed me to explore a new land - a battlefield where I must continually choose to have faith and place my life in His hands. In these new lands, I have sacrificed a lot and found treasure by choosing to let go. Here, I am a seed planted in an environment where I can grow and thrive by overcoming each challenge I face. Here, I am free to fail knowing that my worth is invaluable and that I only fail when I choose to do so. Here, I am also a sower of seeds - called to love more than I have ever loved before. Called to share the passion. Called to share the peace. And called to do so amidst any kind of resistance against spreading the good news. Here, I continue to grow as a person. I continue to explore the potential of the world that surrounds me and the infinite potential in myself. Here, I have hope. Here, I am free. Here, I am.

Thank you Lord, for another wonderful year of life. And a year of a straight up 90 degree angle learning curve too. I once spoke a lot about times when the empire that I had built for myself collapsed. I once cried nightly for the ruins that surrounded me and the pieces that I couldn't bear to pick up. I couldn't bear to restart. I stayed in those ruins for a while. And I'm glad I did. 
John Maxwell teaches that failure is a friend. When we fail, contrary to popular belief, try not to flee the scene of the crime as soon as you can. Try not to pretend you were never there by running away in shame. Stay there for a bit and look around. Sit amidst the brokenness and try to see what it's trying to teach you. 
In the destruction of my empire, I discovered the reason it collapsed. The entire thing was built on the wrong foundation. It was a house built on sand. My empire was based on what others thought of me. It was based on status - on the amazing things my parents could tell their friends about me, on the number of friendships I had, on the outward performance of my talents, on my grades, on the love and care others gave to me, on being a perfect child/daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend/student/person. My foundation, despite desiring an amazing life, was selfishness wearing a mask. It's great to dream about living a great life, but please avoid my mistake and seek that life by the proper means to attain it. Live for a life of giving rather than receiving.

Today, I choose not to rebuild my own empire. I choose to build up my Father's. 
It is freeing to no longer care about whether or not I am up to par with the world's standards - even if that means not adhering to my parents' utmost desires for me or my friends' expectations of me. I love you a lot, but above all else, I am God's child. I will do what is pleasing to Him. If it means blocking out all other voices so that His voice is made loud and clear, then let all other voices be blocked out. I know how inherently valuable I am without any other worldly expectations to validate me. 
I am beautiful. 
I am loved. 
I am free. 
I'm 19 now apparently. 
Here's to another year!!!!!
Another day, another destiny! 

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Yeah, I have the best brother ever.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

This blog is basically the dumping ground for all of my excess phone photos.
Hooray for photojournals?! :)

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Christmas Wish List

- blank canvases and a paint set
- Starbucks, TH and food court gift cards
- I think that's it

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

There's a peace I've come to know 
Though my heart and flesh may fail 
There's an anchor for my soul 
I can say "It is well" 
In a constant state of wonder and awe.