1:51

I need to ramble.
My head is running wild again.
Though I must say, I do miss the slow, silent and sometimes serene evenings that belonged to me.
I miss being able to string words together so effortlessly.
I miss coming up with metaphors that symbolize each and every one of my emotions.
I miss being able to feel / and to feel with everything inside of me / with all that I am.
I miss being able to discover more about me.

Over the past few months, my life has been gradually accelerating back to the speed that it once travelled.
The only difference is that this time, school and duties aren't in the picture.
Still, the fact that I'm continuing to run overwhelmingly fast frightens me.
Will I be able to see what's up ahead at this rate?
Will I be able to prepare?
Will I be able to enjoy what surrounds me?
The answer remains the same.
Have I not learned anything?

My whole summer has been comprised of distractions.
There's only a little less than a month to go, and though I really have not done much this summer, I still lack time to be productive. Or maybe it's not time that I lack, maybe it's motivation. I don't know.
It's always the same story with me.
I'm tired.
I'm always tired.
Just the fact that I'm stealing a few hours of sleep from myself right now, so that I can write to myself in the state of complete exhaustion is the newest thing in my life in a while.

I have no more words to say.
And yet, I have a million more.

Anticipating some impressive eyebags in my student ID photo tomorrow.
The future frightens me.
What's new?