An online journal created to seek meaning and purpose, to feel,

to dream, to discover, to spread joy and light, to love all of creation,

to glorify and magnify the Creator.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

In Vigor

I am no where near perfect at it, but I am grateful to have taken a few steps towards a path of healthy(ER) habits. Growing up a night owl, sleep until you're sick of it, picky eater and "I don't need to exercise because I have a fast metabolism anyway" kid, were habits that I developed over the years because I often did what was most convenient and comfortable thing for me at the time.
I never thought to consider doing "what was right" in smaller areas because for the most part, when it came to larger decisions, I fell on the morally acceptable side of things anyway.

Lately I've been thinking about how I can be a better daughter of God.
 I went on a run today, put on an awesome and audio of positivity and ended up sweating buckets for the first time in a while. Along my run, it became evident how interconnected health is within all facets of life. I found that if I don't exercise, if I continue to eat oily fast food and if I continue to sleep late, I wake up early for work the next day feeling crummy about the rest of the day and about myself. You know, those days where you want to just put your earphones in, throw on some Mariana's Trench and look outside the window on public transportation imagining you're in some kind of sad movie scene. It all seemed glorious to me before, and I guess that's exactly how media makers wanted it to be. But was that the best use of my potential that day?
I think not.

See, if I felt healthy and the most optimal I can be, I feel better about myself and therefore "me" becomes less of a concern in my mind, and my focus can become redirected from everything that I have to do, everything that I feel, and refocuses onto how I can best be there for others - whether it be a greater capacity to love those closest to me, or simply to flash a smile to a stranger!
When everything about me is in check, naturally, the focus is off of myself and I can be available to love more.

Side reflection:
The other day, I was on the skytrain (and not sleeping for once... Probably because I was already awake closer to Surrey from my usual nap that lasts the extent of Granville to Gateway). The woman sitting perpendicular from me was to herself and seemed extremely annoyed at those who sat near her or disturbed her thinking. Her earphones were in the entire time and she stared intently at her phone for the duration of the train ride. At least for the part I was awake to see.
By the time we got to Gateway, I noticed her tears coming down her face as she continued to focus on her phone.
What struck me most about this occurrence were not her actions, but my reaction.
I hesitated.
And I think of the things that irked me about that situation, that would be the greatest of them.
I was disappointed in myself for hesitating to say something to her. To speak out. To reach out. To give her a hand, or anything really!
I couldn't get myself to say anything to her because fear held me back.
And the fear that held me back was nothing of significance. It was simply an underlying fear in my subconscious that was afraid of getting rejected or misinterpreted for my intentions if I spoke to her.
And it made me think about fear and selfishness, and how ugly those two characteristics are.
How such little but powerful (if you let them be so) things were able to prevent me from reaching out to someone I could have helped.
And it made me think of the rest of Western society and how common it is to be so... To yourself, all the time.
In the end, I ended up garnering the courage to speak to her and ask her if I could do anything for her. I found out that her best friend's mother was just sent to the hospital and found with three tumours. In a situation as such, my prayers were the best I could offer to her.
I hope to grow myself in the path of becoming a fearless daughter of God. Most especially when it comes to serving his people. I want to be able to instantly extend my hand literally and figuratively.
Because... Well, imagine if I was able to her. Imagine if the reason she was crying was actually something to which I had a solution. Imagine if something I had or something I could say to her could transform the course of her life. How selfish would I be to deny her of that, to deny her of my love, my service and Christ's love, all because I had minuscule fears of rejection and misinterpretation - two things that would mean nothing to me in the next 5 minutes, but if overcome, could be a miracle in someone else's life.

Anyway, my side reflection became longer than my original post haha!

To be a fearless daughter of God, to strive towards optimal health and mental well-being, to achieve and expand my potential with each coming day. These are all exciting things that are coming into fruition through acknowledgement, diligence, consistency and courage with each passing day.

No comments:

Post a Comment